Valentine’s Day was celebrated last week and of course, it was another grand opportunity to observe society’s gross misunderstanding of the word “Love”.
For some singles and unmarried, it was probably a “painful” reminder of their marital status, their singleness or a reminder of the fact that they were yet to be in a romantic relationship. Valentine’s day may have also heightened the longing for marriage, making them despise their singleness even more.
Unfortunately, Singles Awareness Day celebrated on February 15 did not get half of the hype that Valentine’s Day got. Seems like most people hardly see anything beautiful or worth celebrating about singleness, but on the contrary, the Bible in the words of Apostle Paul refers to singleness as a gift.
I remember how a close relative of mine had asked if I was in a relationship immediately after I had finished my undergraduate study.
I was a single Pringle most of my uni days and according to most people, getting into a serious and committed relationship was the next logical thing for me to do. Little did I know that I still had a long six years of singleness and self-discovery ahead of me. Now that I am married, I look back on those years and understand why that phase had to play out the way it did.
Like Marriage, Singleness is also beautiful. It is a gift
Nowadays, singleness is treated as a disease; like if you’re not booed up then something must be wrong with you. You would almost think that the world was against single people.
It takes wisdom to recognize singleness as a gift and see the beauty in it. Honestly, I also used to be one of those people who rolled their eyes when people (especially married people) would say singleness is something to cherish but they were right! I felt like they had no idea what it felt like to be on the other side of the line and not have someone to exchange romantic messages with.
Singleness is beautiful and it doesn’t have to be done in anguish, frustration, and loneliness. All of the time you spend trying to figure out when or how God will bring you a husband can be used doing many other wonderful things that are wholesome and bring glory to God. Singleness should be enjoyed not endured, and to enjoy it, you have to see it as more than a time when you just sit and wait on God for a husband
Here are a few things for Godly single women to think about:
Singleness is a time to walk closely with God and serve others:
It’s not like married people cannot walk closely with God but there is something about singleness that lets you have undivided attention for the Lord. Apostle Paul mentions how singles have the privilege of being able to have total devotion to the Lord in 1 Corinthians 7:32
On the other hand, when you are married you have to deal with serving your husband, children, and still maintain a relationship with God.
It is way easier to pack a backpack and go on a solo mission trip far away without having to consult a husband or consider the needs of your children because you are single and quite flexible with time.
One of the defining times for me during my singleness was serving as the first female leader of the youth group in my local church. Before I was chosen to assume the role, God had told me it was going to happen even though I didn’t think I was qualified for the position.
Taking on this role helped me develop quite some useful godly leadership traits; it also helped me grow spiritually and brought me in contact with many more young people who were also serving God diligently (some of whom later on became my close friends). I dare say serving in church was one of the very best things I did with my time while I was single.
Seek God diligently with all the time you have now. Engage in deep Bible study, consistently pray and fast and digest as much Christian literature as you can to achieve spiritual growth. Lay a solid spiritual foundation for yourself, a foundation that will prove useful when you become a wife and a mother.
Truth is: motherhood and wifehood are lives of service, so what better way to prepare for the wife and mommy life than to serve God and the lovely people that he has already put in your life.
A perfect time to connect with new people and make lasting friendships…
…but not with the intention of meeting a potential bae though. Yes, I said it! Many single people are invited to events, church functions, singles retreats and they immediately start thinking of how they might meet a potential spouse there.
While we are made for relationships, there are other ways to experience relational intimacy other than through romance. Even after God blesses you with a husband, you would still need wise and godly friends in your life.
So, go out there, attend that singles retreat, you just might meet a great godly girlfriend that would stick with you and be a blessing to you throughout your lifetime. Go to that business networking event, you might meet someone who is influential and has genuine interests in your business idea, or a potential business partner who’ll take your business to the next level.
Your marital status does not define you!
Gurl!! Your true identity in Christ has nothing to do with your marital status. Contrary to what society says, marriage does not define you, rather look to the word of God to define your identity.
First and foremost, you are a child of God before anything else according to John 1:12.
1 Peter 2:9 says ” you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light”
You must understand that marriage is not the ultimate and only purpose of God for your life; God has so many wonderful things he wants to do through you even while you are unmarried (if you would let him)
A time to discover yourself and God’s purpose for your life
The time of singleness is such a good time for you to get to know whom God has created you to be and the unique purpose he has for your life; as you spend ample time studying his word and growing in the knowledge of him.
Discover your passions, the things that interest you and make you tick. Getting to know yourself makes it better. Find out who you are without the added titles of “wife” and “mother”.
Trust me, if you are going to thrive in a relationship or marriage, you need to be whole and secure in who you are in Christ. As a single woman, spend time identifying your weaknesses, your strengths and fall in love with your imperfect self over and over again.
Ultimately, always remember that singleness and marriage are both beautiful callings and one isn’t greater than the other. If it is God’s will for you to be in a godly relationship and then get married, he will make it happen in his perfect timing. God makes all things beautiful in his time and it will surely be worth the wait!